i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
