I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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