Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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