FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
