There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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