are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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