You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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