So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
