I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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