So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
