just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
