Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
