uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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