i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
