ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize