I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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