I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I CAN MOONWALK!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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