singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
