sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hippo gnu deer
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
