I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize