the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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