my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
