Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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