A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
