Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
