All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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