That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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