You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
