First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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