I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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