Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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