The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
