Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
