I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
