dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
