i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
