Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
