Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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