And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
