That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just want nice things and good sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
