Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
