We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
