My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
