i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
