I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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