he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
