im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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