She is in my trunk
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
