Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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