He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
