hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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