just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize