i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
