my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
