the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
