For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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