I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
