I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The uberlube is also flammable
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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