Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
