hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
