Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
