would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
