Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
