so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
