so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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