i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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